my own 'savior'.

It's been a busy weekend. I'll post a weekend update later.

But, first, I wanted to talk about the sermon at church on Sunday. We read Romans 8: 1-13. Each of us has a spot deep in the center of our hearts that we choose to fill with whatever we desire. The preacher asked what was in our hearts. The answer was easy: what do you obsess about the most? I think anyone who knows me knows my obsession. A baby. I am overwhelmed by thoughts of a baby. I don't think I go more than 30 minutes (and that's pushing it) a day without wondering how, when and where I'll get a baby.

So, instead of spending my energy focusing on Him, I'm consumed with being a mother. I have allowed this to be my "savior" instead of God. Instead of seeking Him, I am spending hours daily seeking my own desires.

Throughout this journey thus far, I have seen my desire for Him and my walk with Him grow exponentially, but I also notice that my first and last thought each day is of a baby. He has continued to bless us and I know that He will always do so. But, my purpose is to please Him. Not the other way around.

In my last post, I talked about having faith that God would bring us a baby in His perfect timing. And, I still believe that's true. But, in order to have faith that He will do that, I need to seek him first. If I would devote the time and energy I spend thinking about a baby on my walk with Christ, everything else would fall into place.

My eyes were really opened on Sunday. I know the change won't happen overnight, but I want to make a conscious effort to seek Him throughout the day and let Him take care of the rest.