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Monday, September 1, 2008

my own 'savior'.

It's been a busy weekend. I'll post a weekend update later.

But, first, I wanted to talk about the sermon at church on Sunday. We read Romans 8: 1-13. Each of us has a spot deep in the center of our hearts that we choose to fill with whatever we desire. The preacher asked what was in our hearts. The answer was easy: what do you obsess about the most? I think anyone who knows me knows my obsession. A baby. I am overwhelmed by thoughts of a baby. I don't think I go more than 30 minutes (and that's pushing it) a day without wondering how, when and where I'll get a baby.

So, instead of spending my energy focusing on Him, I'm consumed with being a mother. I have allowed this to be my "savior" instead of God. Instead of seeking Him, I am spending hours daily seeking my own desires.

Throughout this journey thus far, I have seen my desire for Him and my walk with Him grow exponentially, but I also notice that my first and last thought each day is of a baby. He has continued to bless us and I know that He will always do so. But, my purpose is to please Him. Not the other way around.

In my last post, I talked about having faith that God would bring us a baby in His perfect timing. And, I still believe that's true. But, in order to have faith that He will do that, I need to seek him first. If I would devote the time and energy I spend thinking about a baby on my walk with Christ, everything else would fall into place.

My eyes were really opened on Sunday. I know the change won't happen overnight, but I want to make a conscious effort to seek Him throughout the day and let Him take care of the rest.

7 comments:

mrs.leah.maria said...

That is beautiful my dear.

The Bullard's said...

You are a wise owl.

Patrick & Sarah said...

Thanks for sharing...something I needed to hear, too. :)

Leslie G said...

Hey girl! I think about you and pray for you often. I hope all is well for you!

Sea Squared said...

Agreed - beautiful. You are always in my prayers Erin.

The Bo. Family said...

Oh wow! I will have to read some of your past posts, but I will keep you and your hubby in my prayers as you go through this journey of becoming parents.

Freckles Chick said...

You never cease to amaze me with your courage and perseverance. I don't consider myself a religious person but your faith is truly inspiring. Thx E =)