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Monday, August 11, 2008

Hope floats.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up. But, I've noticed when people say that, the hopes are usually already up there.

With that being said, I'll tell you about our newest development on the "I need a baby right this second" front.

My wonderful friend, Sarah (whom you might remember from the "We almost adopted a newborn baby boy" escapade) has come through once again. And, in the form of another baby. Several months ago, we had Sarah and her husband, Tim over for dinner and she mentioned that Tim's brother's wife's sister (confused yet?) was pregnant and is not fit to be a mother. At the time, adoption had been mentioned but Baby's Mama (we'll call her BM...not bowel movement..from this point on) was very fickle and although everyone was encouraging her to put the baby up for adoption, wasn't a reliable prospect.

Fast forward to today and Sarah calls me to say that BM is now about 6 months pregnant and seriously talking about adoption. Tim's sister-in-law/BM's sister told her that Sarah and Tim have some good friends (us!) who really want a baby and would love to adopt.

So...she wants to meet us.

Crazy, huh?

Of course I told Sarah that we would love to meet her, but I think that the meeting should be as neutral and anonymous as possible. Sarah is going to be talking with BM's sister tomorrow and find out where BM is now in terms of the whole adoption thing.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job so far. I can't say the same for Heath. He's already asked me a few times what we'd name her (it's a girl, by the way)I know that we are no where near being close to adopting this baby, but it doesn't keep me from praying praying praying that things work out. So, I ask that you PLEASE do the same!

BM is due in the middle of October. Which is when we decided we would try again for IVF financing. Lately I've had second thoughts about IVF being the right thing for us right now. It would be $300-400 dollars a month in loan payments FOR SEVEN YEARS on top of the staggering cost of raising a baby. While we are more than financially set to handle such payments, I have wondered if it was something we wanted to take on right now. So, I've been feeling pretty hopeless lately about where we were going with all of this.

Who knows... maybe this is it. Maybe it's just another bump in the road on our way to becoming parents. But, I sat in my Pediatric noon conference today, unable to listen to the speaker with this overwhelming urge that I just want to be a mom. And then I get a call from Sarah on the way home.

So, as you can probably tell from this post....my hopes are up and I'm afraid I'm setting myself up for a lot of heartache again. But, I can't help but think this could be it. We'll see.

14 comments:

Lindsey said...

I will definitely keep you in my prayers!! Keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out for you guys.

Sea Squared said...

My prayers are with you guys!

Art and Soul Photography said...

keeping my fingers crossed for you both......all my prayers that this is your baby!

Filipino Bambino\'s mama said...

I'm a lurker who has decided to de-lurk :) I found your blog through Google Reader recommendations. Wow! God is funny with His timing. I will be praying for you as you are faced with huge decisions. I heart adoption, and am always excited to hear others considering it!!

Rachel

mrs.leah.maria said...

Praying, praying, praying is the right state of mind to be! I'll join you. :)

Aimee said...

I will be thinking and praying for you. Hope all works as you'd like.

Kristal said...

Wow Erin. I'll definitely be thinking of and praying for you. I can't imagine how hard it is to not get your hopes up, and I'm sure everyone is saying this, but it WILL happen for you guys - it just may not be the timing you expect.

Moni said...

Ohhh I'm going to be praying for you for God's will and His peace about the whole situation!

etxwife said...

Oh Erin, I will keep the two of you in my prayers. What a huge deal this is. I will pray that His will be done in this situation and that he will give you peace and joy in whatever happens.

Jeremy and Mindy said...

Oh Erin, it would be just absolutely amazing if it worked out. I believe in strong woman intuition and hopefully this will all fall into place if it's what God wants. Everything happens for a reason.
I'm praying for you, please keep us updated. {{{hugs}}}

abby said...

I'm praying for you too!

Elaine said...

Hi Erin, I wrote once before...I think I found you via Angie Smith's blog and I've followed you b/c...well, from reading your blog, I think you are just adorable!! I am praying for you to become a mother however God decides to bless you with a baby. You're on my "list" girl, and there you'll stay until your arms wrap around your very own baby. You'll make a fabulous mother!

Two of a Kind said...

Oh, Erin, you know we will be praying for you! Keep the faith - the right path will find you!

Emily said...

Delurking (I'm a nestie) to tell you that I'll be thinking about you. Wishing you all the best, and keep us posted.