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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

to adopt or not to adopt?

Lately the thought of adoption has been laying very heavily on my heart. I've been searching the internet for charity programs, grants, any kind of assistance I can find. It doesn't quite make sense to me why God has given me such a desire for adoption, considering it's pricetag is double that of IVF, but for some reason I can't stop thinking about it. I've spent time daily thinking about the baby boy that could have been ours. We were this close to bringing that baby home with us. I think about how different our lives would be. I constantly wish that it would have turned out differently, but at the same time, pray for the little boy and his mother, knowing that she made the right choice to raise him herself.

I guess I'm just not really sure where to go from here. Obviously we're forced to wait on IVF due to financing. I just don't know if we should start to pursue adoption. Set up a home visit, request information from agencies... I have have this overwhelming feeling that adoption is right for us, but I don't know how or why. We certainly wouldn't be able to get financing for $30,ooo.

I'm just praying for clarity - some kind of understanding as to why God is opening us up to the idea of adoption more than we already were. I thought that after my appt with Dr. H, it would be obvious to us that IVF is the next step, but now I'm not so sure. Until then, I'll keep praying and see which road God takes us down.

Any advice on where to start from anyone who's gone through this or knows anything about adoption?

14 comments:

kari said...

I have a 10 year old brother that my mom and step dad adopted through the state. I have to say that it was an amazing experience for my entire family. My sisters and I have such a bond with our brother it's amazing, we can't imagine our lives without him.

I don't know how much my parents paid, but they adopted through the county and state (CA). I know that it was a lot cheaper than a private adoption. That's something you might be able to look into. Hope that helps! You are still in my prayers.

KariandTom

Andrea & Kevin said...

I just know the answers will come to you! Kevin and his sister are both adopted and his sister is actually in the process of adopting after having infertility issues (they already have one son). I'll try to find out specifics on how they started their process...maybe it will give some insight. :-)

Jackie said...

I have a friend who adopted two children from China. They both were born w/ medical problems, which were minor cleft lips and both were corrected before they picked them up. She's actually picking up her second child this summer. She blogged about the adoption process and as soon as I find the link I will pass it on to you. You can't even tell her daughter ever had surgery to fix it. My understanding is that by adopting children that have "medical problems" it was less expensive and much quicker. I think they waited 1 year instead of the usual 3 years. I hope this helps and good luck!

Jackie said...

Here is the link to her blog http://followingtheredthread.blogspot.com/

Frank and Louise said...

Chio - A girl my mom works with adopted a child last year. I know it was a very expensive process, but she got almost all of the cost she incurred back in her taxes this year...I want to say something like $30,000. Perhaps that deduction would be something to check out?

- vic1011

Kristal said...

I know of one organization that was founded to offset the costs of adoptions.

http://members.shaohannahshope.org/site/PageServer

It was set up by Steven Curtis Chapman (a contemporary Christian artist) and his wife. It may be worth checking out.

And good luck to you guys no matter what you decided.

Abby said...

Erin, I think you are such a wonderful person to open your heart to the possiblity of adoption. I have worked with many children that would have thrived in homes with adoptive parents instead of being in state custody. As always I pray that you will be blessed with a little on to call your own.

Cathy and Marshall said...

I don't really have advice on the adoption process, but I wanted to let you know I'm praying for you guys!! God will make you a mommy, I'm sure of it.

Jeremy and Mindy said...

We want to adopt and most likely will at some point in our lives. I had a good friend growing up who was adopted from Russia and she has an amazing story. It has a place in my heart like nothing else and I certainly believe that there are children out there who deserve to be adopted.

Rachel (maydaygirl) would have alot of information for you, as she pursued two adoptions before getting pregnant. I would definiately contact her. As for funding, it never hurts to start looking into expenses and government credits. There is ALOT to consider. Also, check your medical insurance, some companies offer assistance with adoption. Keep us updated, I'm praying for you. And keep praying, God will show you!

mrs.leah.maria said...

Erin, as ever this aspect of your life is definitely in my prayers.

I can only imagine what a great mother and father that you two will be. Only time will tell what path will bring you to that point.

I'm so glad that you have your heart so open to adoption.

The Coopers said...

You do not know me but we know of the Bullards from Cross Timbers, as I was blogging I found your blog. Both of my sisters adopted and the one in OKC just recently. Go to my blog and you can find their blog. One is ourgrowingfamily02 and the other is atimetodance. Hope that helps.
Amy

Jamie said...

Hi, Erin...I found your blog via Kristal in St. Louis. She posted about your cute haircut :)

Anyway, have you seen the movie 'And Then She Found Me' with Helen Hunt? Such a good movie about a woman who has trouble getting pregnant. She is absolutely against adoption because she was adopted. Anyway, its such a good movie - super depressing, but a good watch, regardless. Its in the (small) theatres in St. Louis, so check it out if you can...I'll keep you and your (future) family in my prayers...whichever way you decide to go!

Abby said...

Tag you're it! Check my blog for details!

Art and Soul Photography said...

I was adopted through the state at the age of two. i also have three adopted brothers. my mom was not able to have children due to cancer and has spent her life raising children who needed a home. adoption is very close to my heart, seeing as all my siblings are from different families. please call me anytime - i would love to get together and talk more about the wonderful adoption stories i have heard through the years. your blog and your words are inspiring. you and your husband are super adorable!!!