not yet.

Still haven't heard anything.

It's 1:12 a.m., I'm on call in the PICU and I think I made a big mistake tonight.

I went and visited the little guy ("J"). I held him for about an hour. Fed him (he's a big eater). Stared at his precious little face (he has the most perfect little lips). And imagined taking him home with me in the morning (I even stuck the car seat in my car this morning before leaving for work).

I'm hooked. I don't know what I'll do if we don't get to take this little guy home. It's so far from anything we've ever done, that I can't quite imagine it really happening - but, at the same time, I can't imagine not getting him either.

Heath and I spend the day making phone calls and sending emails with no reply to either. I have no idea if our case workers have even spoken to each other. I have no clue if J already has a placement in the works. Frustrating doesn't even begin to describe it.

I mean, how hard can it be? We're certified foster parents, he needs a home - sounds pretty simple. I just hate that he's just sitting in the nursery when he could be at home in Heath's arms right now.

I emailed Beth from A'sH and she is trying to move things along or at least get some information for us. She said we probably shouldn't expect anything to happen Friday.

It just blows my mind how horrible DHS is at communication. Why couldn't we have received a quick phone call or email today telling us the status. They have no idea what it's like to be waiting on this end, obviously. Our entire lives could change at any moment and they don't even feel the need to call and say "It might take a day or two, but we're working on that placement" or even "Looks like another foster family has already been found".

Ugh. That's really all for now. Just needed to vent. Hopefully the next post will be a little more positive.

I'm off to see my new admit - suicidal adolescent...joy!