weekend recap.

Things are busy. No cute pics in this post. I'm stuck in the PICU on call again. Obviously the last place I want to be right now.

So, how is life with J?

Words cannot describe. I wasn't kidding when I said we were head over heels for the little man already. I'll post more on that later.

Let's recap, shall we? (Note: this may be a tad boring...it's more for my memory than anything. Bear with me.)

Friday: Took J home after a long night in the PICU. While I normally go home and sleep 6-8 hours after a call - that wasn't an option. Luckily the excitement had given me a natural energy boost so I was high on life for the day. J promptly filled his diaper with some nastiness upon arrival to his new home. I changed him on the kitchen floor. Weird, but for some reason that seemed like a reasonable place to do it. The day went well. He slept mostly. I complained a little that he was kind of boring and I wished I could take him to the zoo or for a walk. Apparently you don't do that with 5 day old babes. My mom (who was a life.saver over the weekend) was at the house to help out withing an hour of us getting home. Then, Heath came home and sat on the couch with him in his arms for about 6 hours. No lie.

The night was long. Long, long long. I ended up with about 5 hours of sleep in 48 hours. I felt and looked post-partum (but I still fit into my pre-baby jeans, yay! ;) ) Mom, Heath and I did shifts and I think J was up most of the night. At one point I was so tired I could barely stand and I thrust him onto my sleeping mother saying "I don't know what else to do with him!!!!" in a shrill, hysterical voice.

Saturday: My dad couldn't stay away after all the gushing about how sweet and cuddly J was, so he came up to join us. Against my better judgement (I am a pediatrician ya know...) we took J out to BRU and then to a Mexican restaraunt for lunch. The little guy didn't make a peep. And, he luckily didn't catch the bird flu either!

Saturday night was much smoother. J actually slept for an extended period of time and was a little easier to put down in his crib.

Sunday (my first Mother's Day!!!): The Corbin clan (I call them this because there are a TON of them! 8 kiddos, 2 on the way, and 8 adults) all came to visit. I am so blessed that they have been so supportive and are so happy for us. We just took it easy (as easy as you can with 8 kids running amuck) and ordered pizza. They left around 4 and Heath and I spent the rest of the evening staring at, kissing on and cuddling J. I'm not kidding - I'm pretty sure we avoided even getting up to pee because it would mean putting him down.

Unfortunately, I had to get up bright and early to head back to work Monday morning. My amazing husband took the 9pm - 4am shift, which means the poor man got no sleep, while I got my beauty rest. I woke up at 4, fed and changed J and got ready for work.

So, Heath has gotten to play Mr. Mom for the last two days. A job that he quickly found out is not one he wants to ever take on full time - even though he's a natural at it.

Today was J's newborn visit. He's weighing in at a whopping 6.1kg (OOPS, I mean lbs. We use the crazy metric system around here..), which isn't quite back up to birth weight. He'll be headed back to clinic next week for a weight check.

In other news, I decided to take some time off work. I originally wasn't going to. My reasoning being that since this is a fostering situation, I can't really expect to take time off each time we foster. But, things have been hectic with my parents trying to take time off to help. So, after Sunday, I'll be off until June 1st. It's not long, but I'm so glad I'll get to spend 2 whole weeks at home with little man. Then my friend Sarah will be watching him for 2 weeks until he goes to day care.

I've been amazed at how quickly our families have accepted J as their own. My parents were apprehensive (mainly concerned that Heath and I would get hurt through this process) but little man has them wrapped around his long, skinny fingers as well. Heath's sister was almost in tears several times this weekend because she's so happy for us and is already picturing J growing up with the other kiddos. So, all in all - amazing weekend. Probably the best ever. God is good and I cannot believe we've been choosen to love and care for this peanut. Regardless of it all - I'm loving it.

That's about it. I've got other stuff to post about - i.e. how I'm emotionally dealing with all of this, meeting J's mom tomorrow for the first time, and how Satan is really trying to convince me I'm not cut out for this, etc. But, we'll save that for tomorrow. For now, I'm off to bed since sleeping post call is a thing of the past...

blessed.

This is what I came home to after running errands yesterday.

Seriously, does it get any better?

I can't believe I have a baby in my arms on Mother's day. My heart is so full.

Heath and I are irrevocably (recognize that word, Twilight fans?) in love. I cannot even bear to think that this little guy won't be with us forever and ever. It makes my heart hurt to imagine giving him back. Once again - please pray. It may be months before we find anything out, but we know that we would be devastated if he left us.

Blah.

Needless to say, we've been a bit busy lately. I promise to update on how things are going as soon as I can tear myself away from my little peanut long enough.


Edit:: Happy Mother's Day to all you ladies out there. And, to those of you who are having a hard time today because you're still waiting for God to bless you with a little one - be patient. God is good and He wants to grant you your desires in HIS timing. Trust me, it's worth the wait!

headed home

Headed home with J yesterday at 1:00pm after being at the hospital 31 hours. New mommy glow or post-call grime? You decide.

melt my heart.

Meeting for the first time.

Heath fell in love the second he saw him and I fell in love with my husband all over again.

I knew he'd be an amazing dad, but watching him with J today has made me warm and squishy inside.

I love my boys.

no words...

I just recieved an email that said we were approved and J should be placed with us today!!!

I have no words. I'm so excited and nervous! I'll have a baby on Mother's Day!

Thanks so much and I'll keep you updated! I'm hoping to take him home with me when I leave the hospital at noon today!

Praise God!

not yet.

Still haven't heard anything.

It's 1:12 a.m., I'm on call in the PICU and I think I made a big mistake tonight.

I went and visited the little guy ("J"). I held him for about an hour. Fed him (he's a big eater). Stared at his precious little face (he has the most perfect little lips). And imagined taking him home with me in the morning (I even stuck the car seat in my car this morning before leaving for work).

I'm hooked. I don't know what I'll do if we don't get to take this little guy home. It's so far from anything we've ever done, that I can't quite imagine it really happening - but, at the same time, I can't imagine not getting him either.

Heath and I spend the day making phone calls and sending emails with no reply to either. I have no idea if our case workers have even spoken to each other. I have no clue if J already has a placement in the works. Frustrating doesn't even begin to describe it.

I mean, how hard can it be? We're certified foster parents, he needs a home - sounds pretty simple. I just hate that he's just sitting in the nursery when he could be at home in Heath's arms right now.

I emailed Beth from A'sH and she is trying to move things along or at least get some information for us. She said we probably shouldn't expect anything to happen Friday.

It just blows my mind how horrible DHS is at communication. Why couldn't we have received a quick phone call or email today telling us the status. They have no idea what it's like to be waiting on this end, obviously. Our entire lives could change at any moment and they don't even feel the need to call and say "It might take a day or two, but we're working on that placement" or even "Looks like another foster family has already been found".

Ugh. That's really all for now. Just needed to vent. Hopefully the next post will be a little more positive.

I'm off to see my new admit - suicidal adolescent...joy!

take a second...

and say a prayer please!

We have a possible placement in the works.

The little guy is in the nursery at the hospital and needs a home.

We are waiting for our foster care worker and his to make things happen.

No word yet, so I'm assuming we won't hear anything until tomorrow.

It's not a guarantee but I think there's a good chance this will work.

So, even though you guys have prayed a hundred prayers for us (and so many more than we deserve), do it again. Will ya? Thanks :)

And, as always, I'll keep you posted.