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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

insane.

Tell me why Heath and I are seriously contemplating taking home a 2 1/2 year old boy from the hospital that needs placement. Rights will likely be terminated as DHS is already recommending termination. Are we out of our honkey tonk minds?

My mom's opinion (which I highly value): This isn't what we planned and we should probably space them out as if we were actually having children ourselves.

My response: Having J has completely opened us up to the idea of forming our family in a way we'd never imagined. We want to be parents - we don't care what shape, form or color that comes in. We have boat loads of love to give and this child needs it. Sounds pretty simple.

For the record, I do know that it's a crazy, hair brained idea. But, I can't stop thinking about how it would work.

Thoughts? Opinions? Give it to me straight, I can take it.

J says "Girl, you craaaaazy!"

20 comments:

kristina said...

I came out of lurking/hiding when you first took J home, and want to be a vote for a leap of faith and a leap into love. I've been reading your blog for awhile and we don't know each other, but it is so evidence that you and your husband have so much love to give and are phenomenal parents. I just can't imagine that you would ever regret adopting a toddler to shower love upon who needs it so very badly. Sometimes decisions seem crazy, but they can be the most rewarding of all. In 20 years, I bet you wouldn't look back and say gee, I wish I wouldn't have adopted that kid. But you could be looking back and saying, I wonder what ever happened to _____. I hope things worked out for that kid.

Mrs. Dimple said...

I vote you sleep on it and if it feels right in the morning you proceed AS LONG AS you aren't taking anything away from J by adding to your brood so quickly. Good luck girlie :)

Julia said...

no clue because I have exactly 0 children, but I say you can do it!

Melodie said...

i love your response. it's amazing to me how we dream of little babies that looks like a blend of us and the spouse, then we oftentimes get a taste of something quite the opposite through adoption. and then we get addicted to it. and what a great addiction! i'm not going to offer advice. only God knows if this boy is right for you. but i will lift up a prayer for guidance. i love your heart for these babies!

Kristal said...

I really don't see why not. If you guys think you can handle it and you think God is leading you in that direction, you should go for it.

Jen said...

Maybe it's crazy, but love is a crazy thing. 2.5 year age different would be an ideal age difference between siblings. I would seriously think about it.

beth said...

While this child might be healthy, well-adjusted, and willing to be showered with your love, a LOT can happen in the first years of life that children never really get over. I work in human services and I have worked with kids who were setting fires at 2 years old and threatening their mom with knives at 3. Make sure you really look into his case history and make sure you aren't bringing a potentially unsafe situation, now that you have J.

Good luck!

T said...

Oh man, that's tough. Considering we're open to sibling groups, I would probably take the jump.

PS Just start following your blog too!

Molly said...

Here's the cool thing about adoption...IT'S NOT ABOUT US! It's about God and what He's doing. As much as I agree with the above advice that some children have hard lives before they come into their forever family...GOD CAN HEAL ANYONE. We cannot. GOD SAVES CHILDREN ALL OF THE TIME. If He is calling you to do this, we cannot research enough and look at statistics to guide our choice. We must follow Him.

I am not saying He is calling you, just saying if He is then He's got it all worked out. Doesn't mean there won't be bumps in the road, but you know that.

I love what Melodie said. She couldn't be more true...it's addicting this adoption thing.

Praying for you and loving you more and more as I hear your heart through your blog. Sorry I missed you on FB! We gotta chat sometime!

Mrs. Newlywed said...

I believe if you feel God is calling you to take this child home than you should.

I would pray and sleep on it. God has a plan, and you have been so kind to open up your home.

If tomorrow you believe you are still called to take this child home then do it!

Meredith said...

I think if you're comfortable with it, you should go ahead. I know what I'm about to say is probably heartbreaking, but the truth of the matter is that child services hasn't moved to termination for J yet (I'm assuming from your posts), and I think until they do, I'd be inclined to consider other children for placement as well. I'm sorry if that's uncomfortable and abrupt to hear...I didn't mean it to be.

Joi said...

Go with your gut. It never lets you down. : )

Rebekah said...

Oh goodness, I would go for it...but Im not you. I think he would make a great addition to your family. :)

Mrs. Dirnberger said...

Honestly It will be soo soo much work! I can't imagine having a newborn and two yeard old. BUT with the grace of God and your own will power if you set your mind to it you can do it. YOu said it probally wouldnt' be for long, so if you feel God calling you give it a try. You might be so tired and work and your mind might be at home instead of work but I am sure you have thought of that.

Cortney said...

I think you have to go where God is leading you. There will be lots and lots of babies that you run across that need a loving home and maybe you are called to care for some of them. Pray about it and if you feel peace and love come from your decision then it might be what God is asking of you.

Rachel said...

First off I love that you're considering it. Second I have a 2.5 year old foster son in my home right now and it would take a LOOOONG time for me to consider adopting him (though it's not an option and I've known that from the start). even after 7 weeks! It's totally different than bringing home a perfectly sweet newborn baby! That's for sure.

I say give it a try! You never know what God has in mind!

mrs.leah.maria said...

Wow Erin! That's definitely insane to consider, but God calls us to do crazy things all the time.
As ever, praying for you guys.
J is too cute in that picture!!

Lisa said...

I believe in listening to your heart. And, I believe you are truly in touch with yours. The right answer will come to you :).

Stephanie said...

I'm saying this as both someone you work with and your friend. Pray, pray, pray, talk to your friends and family and Heath. This is such a big step. Make sure you would take this new child in because it's what you want for your and his life, not because J may go back to his birth family or you're addicted to adoption or even just because your big heart wants to help. Going from no children to 2 in a few short weeks is huge, and it will impact your job and your marriage (both in good and in trying ways). It's not what you planned, and you had a plan for a reason. Now, you can make changes, sure, just make sure you're really evaluating why you want to change your plan. Did you learn something new? Have a change of heart?
That being said, I'm a planner and I don't like surprises. But God's got it all worked out, so just stop and listen.
No matter what you choose, I will totally support you this coming year. Let me know if you want to talk.

rachelshingleton said...

Can I be frank? My first reaction is whooooooah nelly, that sounds freakin' hard. That's not to say that you couldn't or shouldn't do it. Just my reaction from my own experience (granted, with only one child, though).

Also, I'm going to agree with Stephanie's comment above me. Going from 0 kids to 2 kids in about a month is mindboggling to me, only because I remember feeling entirely overwhelmed with just 1 baby until he was about 4 months old. For me, I needed the time to grow in to toddler temper tantrums and having someone follow you around the entire house, undoing all the cleaning up and chores that you just did, so I could know how best to deal with it because if I had had a 2 year old off the bat, I would've gone bonkers. Plus, like Stephanie ssaid, having one baby changes your relationship with your husband in so many ways, good and bad. Two in such a short amount of time sounds harder.

Once again, harder doesn't mean no, it just means... well, harder.

I'm all for loving all the kids you can get your hands on. There's something about having a lot of love to give, and knowing that there are the kids out there that need it. You guys are awesome to even consider this, and I have enormous respect for you!
xoxoxo,
Rach